radical self love or why I don’t tell you I feel bad about my body

that black and shimmer dress you all thought I looked amazing in last night

I tried it on last week and took it off before I went out

decided it accentuated all the parts of my body that are wrong

felt it made my body wrong changed it for something less clinging

I have a full length mirror this is important I know exactly what I look like

I know before anyone else calls me a fat cunt or a fat  slut or a fat slag

I know exactly much of legs and breasts are showing I bend and turn

I know what I look like from all angles and tell myself that I am good enough

I put it on and told the mirror that my waist to hip ratio puts Jessica rabbit to shame

that in platforms and fishnets my legs are astonishing look at my glorious knees

I didn’t tell you about the dresses failed first outing because I don’t want to

add to all that fucking noise about how my body is wrong, your body is wrong

any body that is strong and existing just the way it knows how is wrong

you are beautiful and giving and funny and your brain your wit your talent

your poetry is worth so much more than worrying about dimensions of flesh

I never tell you about how hard it is to leave the house some days

how I am late because I changed my clothes and make up make a dozen times

till I felt like I was acceptable like this body and this skin is acceptable

I walk tall with my back straight because I want everyone who sees to know

I think this body is alright this body is gorgeous this body is beautiful and

that dress that didn’t make it out of the house last week is my new favourite


About Quad

The Stirred quad is formed of Rebecca Audra Smith, Anna Percy, Jasmine Chatfield and Lenni Sanders.
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