I said at the beginning and joining late I would not be taking this that seriously so I missed a few days and have done day ten’s prompt http://www.napowrimo.net/day-ten-6/ a poem of simultaneity- where many things happen at once.
When I started to realise I did not love him I cut my hair I kissed a man I didn’t know the name of with a better beard I became as fixated on filling notebooks with my thoughts as at seventeen I stopped listening to Buddy Holly for the longest period since I was a child in adulthood he came to imbue new love and hope in me
When I started to realise I did not love him I no longer recognised my own face or how to paint it the sprawling succulent in the kitchen shrivelled with lack of care tins of tomato soup fell on me every time I opened the cupboard equilibrium was lost my feet were bleeding from the wrong shoes and I scratched holes in my scalp sleep evaded me books fell off the shelf onto the bed I was not sleeping in the ever familiar ever ridiculous fear the bed will fall through the floor ever present
Today I sleep soundly I replaced the battery in my white hearted alarm clock I wonder if it has fooled my subconscious into hearing another heart beat the way you can fool a young pup with the tick and a hot water bottle each morning I wake more ready to open my heart.